There’s More Than One Way to Be a Good Mum

This week, I’ve been asking my kids for a bit more space.

“Please can you give me some quiet? I’m working.”

It’s not always easy to say that. I feel the tug. The guilt. That little voice whispering, “Shouldn’t you be more present? Isn’t this what matters most?”

But I’ve also been holding onto another voice - the one that knows I’m working hard now for them, not away from them.

It’s taken me a long time to untangle the belief that being a “good mum” means being constantly available. That I have to be the default parent 24/7. That any moment I spend on my dreams is somehow a moment taken from theirs.

But lately, I’ve realised something powerful: There’s more than one way to be a good mum.

A different kind of presence

I’m not present all the time, but when I am, I try to be really there.

And I’m definitely not always patient.

But what I'm doing when I ask for my space is modelling meaningful things like boundaries, purpose and quiet confidence. Because when they see me carving time for something that lights me up, that can be just as valuable as reading one more story or making one more snack.

I’m showing them how to build something. How to believe in something. How to begin again, even after it didn’t work out the first few times.

Of course, the guilt still shows up - I think it always will. But instead of letting it take over, I try to pause and remind myself that my love is not measured in minutes.

My worth is not in how much I sacrifice.

I’m allowed to be more than one thing.

What helps me feel grounded

• I keep weekends sacred for family time, limiting doing any work.

• I talk to other mums - the kind who get it. Who’ve felt the same guilt. Who remind me I’m not alone and that this juggle is real and valid.

• I remind myself it’s good for them to see me as someone beyond them - not just "Mum", but a whole person with passions, purpose, and projects of her own.

• I anchor back to the big picture: I’m building something that gives us freedom, flexibility, and a future I’m proud of.

If you’re feeling it too…

If you’re also navigating this dance between ambition and motherhood, here’s your reminder:

You don’t have to be available every second to be a wonderful, loving, present mum. You’re allowed to build something for yourself. You’re allowed to dream - and to take those dreams seriously.You’re allowed to say, “Not right now, love. I'm doing something else”.

Because one day, they’ll look back and say: “She showed me what’s possible.”